A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai!

God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...

'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?'

'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.

'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED'

It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.


The appraisals are at door steps... Be ready for the comments like below from your beloved managers

200 Runs/ 147Balls -  25X4 / 3X6

Agree you have done GREAT BUT BUT BUT BUT

25 x 4s = 100
3 x 6s = 18

IT implies that you have done 118 Runs in 28 Balls.

12 x 2s = 24
58 x 1s = 58

IT means you have done all 200 Runs in only 98 balls

So you have wasted 147-98 = 49 balls

Considering only 1 run scored on each of these balls you could have earned 49 valuable RUNS FOR OUR TEAM

MANAGER’S COMMENT: So you only met the expectations and NOT EXCEEDING (though anyone of our team could not do it) and your Grade is MEDIUM

Trainings for him: Learn from how to STEAL singles. ( you better know what I mean stealing single )

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me belly well.

I'm lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. . . hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.

Employer's reply......

Dear Peggy,
It's OK honey, we've got spell check.....

Welcome onboard!!

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready.. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge, and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before
you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all
directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My Heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart.Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So LOVE is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. LOVE is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Cast : Sharman Joshi, Tabu, Yuvika Chaudary, Vatsal Seth, Ayub Khan
Music Director : Pritam Chakraborty
Genre : Comedy, Romance
Producer : Ramesh S. Taurani, Kumar S. Taurani
Executive Producer : Rahila Mirza, Jay Shewakramani
Co-Producer : Paul Reynolds, Jay Shewakramani
Director : Kedar Shinde
Lyrics : Sayeed Quadri, Mayur Puri, Shabbir Ahmed

.: Tracklist :.
01 - Jis Din - Mika Singh
02 - Phir Se - Sonu Nigaam
03 - Dil Le Jaa - Jassi, Javed Ali, Indee, Shilpa Rao
04 - Karle Mujhse Pyaar - Pritam, Rana, Soham
05 - Phir Se (Remix) - Sonu Niigaam
06 - Jis Din (Remix) - Mika Singh
07 - Dil Le Jaa (Remix) - Jassi, Javed Ali, Indee, Shilpa Rao
08 - Karle Mujhse Pyaar (Remix) - Pritam, Rana, Soham
09 - Aarti (Traditional) - Antara Mitra
10 - Phir Se - Rahat Fateh Ali Khan


Download Here:

Director : Kooki
Cast : Vivek Oberoi, Aruna Murty, Nandana Sen & Niroo Singh
Music: Sachin Gupta
Lyricist: Sameer

.: Tracklist :.
01 - O Mere Khuda - Atif Aslam & Garima Jhingon
02 - Tere Liye - Atif Aslam & Shreya Ghoshal
03 - Kaun Hoon Main - Atif Aslam
04 - Aa Bhi Ja Sanam - Atif Aslam
05 - Jiyara Jiyara - Alisha Chinai & Hard Kaur
06 - Ishq Mein - Monali Thakur
07 - O Mere Khuda (Dance Mix) - Atif Aslam & Garima Jhingon
08 - Tere Liye (Dance Mix) - Atif Aslam & Shreya Ghoshal
09 - Kaun Hoon Main (Dance Mix) - Atif Aslam & Shreya Ghoshal
10 - Aa Bhi Ja Sanam (Dance Mix) - Atif Aslam & Garima Jhingon
11 - Tere Liye (Hip Hop Mix) - Atif Aslam & Shreya Ghosal
13 - Jiyara Jiyara (Bhangra Mix) - Alisha Chinai & Hard Kaur
14 - Prince (Mega Mix) - Atif Aslam, Shreya Goshal, Alisha Chinai, Garima Jhingon & Hard Kaur
15 - Tere Liye (Unplugged) - Sachin Gupta
16 - Prince (Theme) - Instrumental


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Director : Ashwani Dhir
Cast : Ajay Devgan, Konkona Sen Sharma & Paresh Rawal
Music : Pritam Chakraborty
Lyricist : Irshad Kamil

.: Tracklist :.
01 - Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge - Amit Mishra
02 - Jyoti Jalaile - Vishal Bharadwaj
03 - Aaja Aaja - Pritam Chakraborty
04 - Dohe - Amit Mishra
05 - Sukhakarta - Amit Mishra
06 - Aaja Aaja (Remix) - Pritam Chakraborty


Download here:

Stunning crop art has sprung up across rice fields in Japan.

But this is no alien creation - the designs have been cleverly planted.

Farmers creating the huge displays use no ink or dye.

Instead, different colours of rice plants have been precisely and strategically arranged and grown in the paddy fields.

As summer progresses and the plants shoot up, the detailed artwork begins to emerge.

Smaller works of crop art can be seen in other rice-farming areas of Japan. The farmers create the murals by planting little purple and yellow-leafed kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed tsugaru roman variety to create the coloured patterns between planting and harvesting in September.

The murals in Inakadate cover 15,000 square metres of paddy fields.

From ground level, the designs are invisible, and viewers have to climb the mock castle tower of the village office to get a glimpse of the work.

Rice-paddy art was started there in 1993 as a local revitalization project, an idea that grew out of meetings of the village committee.

Closer to the image, the careful placement of thousands of rice plants in the paddy fields can be seen.

The different varieties of rice plant grow alongside each other to create the masterpieces.

In the first nine years, the village office workers and local farmers grew a simple design of Mount Iwaki every year. But their ideas grew more complicated and attracted more attention.

In 2005 agreements between landowners allowed the creation of enormous rice paddy art.

A year later, organizers used computers to precisely plot planting of the four differently colored rice varieties that bring the images to life. The largest and finest work is grown in the Aomori village of Inakadate, 600 miles north of Tokyo, where the tradition began in 1993.

The village has now earned a reputation for its agricultural artistry and this year the enormous pictures of Napoleon and a Sengoku-period warrior, both on horsebacks, are visible in a pair of fields adjacent to the town hall. Napoleon on horseback can be seen from the skies, created by precision planting and months of planning between villagers and farmers in Inkadate.

A Sengoku warrior on horseback has been created from hundreds of thousands of rice plants; the color's created by using different varieties, in Inakadate in Japan.

More than 150,000 visitors come to Inakadate, where just 8,700 people live, every summer to see the extraordinary murals. Each year hundreds of volunteers and villagers plant four different varieties of rice in late May across huge swathes of paddy fields. Another famous rice paddy art venue is in the town of Yonezawa in the Yamagata prefecture. This year's design shows the fictional 16th-century samurai warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife, Osen, whose lives feature in television series Tenchijin. Fictional warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife Osen appear in fields in the town of Yonezawa, Japan.

And over the past few years, other villages have joined in with the plant designs. Various artwork has popped up in other rice-farming areas of Japan this year, including designs of deer dancers.

A fed up movie-watcher explains in pictures how buying is more hostile to consumers than pirating...