Hello!! and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following menu options:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schiophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up, our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
Want to propose a girl
Just do it - Nike.
Before going to propose to a girl
Believe in the best - BPL.
If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl
Vicks ki goli lo kich kich door karo - Vicks.
If you are going to propose to a girl
Chances are 50-50 - Britannia.
If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her
Take it easy - Limca.
Girl says NO!!!
Jor ka jhatka dhire se lage - Mirinda.
Those who succeed in love always say
We dream because we do - Daewoo.
If some one wants to write a love letter to his girlfriend
Likho script apna apna - Rotomac.
If you love someone
Go get it - Visa power.
Boy riding a bike with neighbor's girl
Neighbors envy owner's pride - Onida.
Not satisfied with your date
Yeh dil mangey more - Pepsi.
A guy having a number of girl friends
The Complete Man - Raymonds.
A smart girl having a number of boyfriends
Yeh hai hamara suraksha chakra - Colgate.
For those lost in love
Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera - Bagpiper Whisky.
For a guy/gal who hasn't yet found one
Dhoondte rehe jaoge - Surf Exel.
A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'
The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.
'If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go.'
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...
This message is too short...but carries a lot of feelings.
1. Ushiku Daibutsu, Ushiku, Japan :
The Ushiku Daibutsu located in Ushiku, Ibaraki Prefecture, Japan, is the world's tallest freestanding bronze statue. Completed in 1995, it stands a total of 120m above the ground, including the 10m high base and 10m high lotus platform. An elevator takes visitors up to 85m off the ground, where an observation floor is located.
2. Buddhist statue of Guanyin, Sanya, China :
Sanya is located on Hainan, the smallest province of the People’s Republic of China located off the southern coast of the country. Yalong Wan is a local park that located at a beach 7.5 km southeast of Sanya City. The highlight of the park is the a 108-meter Buddhist statue of Guanyin. This statue was completed in May 2005 and is one of the tallest statues in the world.
3. Yellow Chinese emperors Huangdi and Yandi, China :
Yellow Chinese emperors Huangdi and Yandi. China. 103 meters tall.
4. Motherland, Kiev, Ukraine :
Kiev's statue of the Motherland, a memorial of the Great Patriotic War (World War II). The statue itself is 62 meters tall, the overall height is 102 meters.
5. Statue of Peter I, Moscow, Russia :
The statue of Peter I on the bank of the Moskva River is one of the tallest outdoor sculptures in the world.
6. Statue of Liberty, Liberty Island, New York :
Liberty Enlightening the World, known more commonly as the Statue of Liberty, is a colossal statue given to the United States by France in 1886, standing at Liberty Island, New York in the mouth of the Hudson River in New York Harbor as a welcome to all visitors, immigrants, and returning Americans.
7. "The Motherland" statue, Volgograd, Russia :
"The Motherland" is a monumental statue by sculptor Yevgeny Vuchetich commemorating the Battle of Stalingrad and dedicated in 1967. The significant structural engineering challenges of the 84 meter tall, 7900 ton sculpture were handled by Nikolai Nikitin. Measured from the tip of her sword to the top of the plinth, the distance is 85 meters. It is located on Mamayev Kurgan in Volgograd.
8. Statue of Lanshan Buddha, Lanshan, China :
Buddha near Lanshan. China, Lanshan. 71 meters tall.
9. Buddha of Bamyan, Afghanistan :
The Buddha of Bamyan were monumental statue of standing Buddha carved into the side of a cliff in the Bamyan valley of central Afghanistan, situated 230 km northwest of Kabul. 55 meters tall. It were destroyed by the Taliban in 2001. Japan, Switzerland, and UNESCO, among others, have pledged support for the rebuilding of the statues.
10. Christ the Redeemer, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil :
Christ the Redeemer is a large Art Deco-style statue of Jesus Christ in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The statue stands 32 m tall, weighs 1000 tons and is located at the peak of the 710-m Corcovado mountain in the Tijuca Forest National Park, overlooking the city.
As well as being a potent symbol of Christianity, the statue has become an icon of the city.